Posts About Nothing
You know the Seinfeld episode — it’s “The Pitch” — in which Jerry and George pitch their sitcom idea to NBC network executives? George majorly screws it up:
2:35 in this video
RUSSELL: So, what have you two come up with?
JERRY: Well, we’ve thought about this in a variety of ways. But the basic idea is I will play myself-
GEORGE: (Interrupting) May I?
JERRY: Go ahead.
GEORGE: I think I can sum up the show for you with one word: NOTHING.
GEORGE: (Smiling) Nothing.
RUSSELL: (Unimpressed) What does that mean?
GEORGE: The show is about nothing.
JERRY: (To George) Well, it’s not about nothing.
GEORGE: (To Jerry) No, it’s about nothing.
JERRY: Well, maybe in philosophy. But, even nothing is something.
JERRY: ..Well, as I was saying, I would play myself, and, as a comedian, living in New York, I have a friend, a neighbor, and an ex-girlfriend, which is all true.
GEORGE: Yeah, but nothing happens on the show. You see, it’s just like life. You know, you eat, you go shopping, you read.. You eat, you read, You go shopping.
RUSSELL: You read? You read on the show?
JERRY: Well, I don’t know about the reading.. We didn’t discuss the reading.
RUSSELL: All right, tell me, tell me about the stories. What kind of stories?
GEORGE: Oh, no. No stories.
RUSSELL: No stories? So, what is it?
GEORGE: (Showing an example) What’d you do today?
RUSSELL: I got up and came to work.
GEORGE: There’s a show. That’s a show.
RUSSELL: (Confused) How is that a show?
JERRY: Well, uh, maybe something happens on the way to work.
GEORGE: No, no, no. Nothing happens.
JERRY: Well, something happens.
RUSSELL: Well, why am I watching it?
GEORGE: Because it’s on TV.
RUSSELL: (Threatening) Not yet.
GEORGE: Okay, uh, look, if you want to just keep on doing the same old thing, then maybe this idea is not for you. I, for one, am not going to compromise my artistic integrity. And I’ll tell you
something else, this is the show and we’re not going to change it. (To Jerry) Right?
(A moment passes)
JERRY: (To Russell) How about this: I manage a circus..
That reminds me of how I come up with ideas for some of my posts.
- Someone didn’t flush the toilet? That’s a post.
- There’s a picture of Satan on the wall in the restaurant? That’s a post.
- One of the family cats leaves a distinctively shaped pile of food on her plate? That’s a post.
- There’s a huge typo in the sports section? That’s a post.
- Someone mispronounces — in my opinion — the year 2010? That’s That will be a post.
There’s a difference, though, between my process and George’s. In each of these cases, something happened. It may have been trivial but it is something. What I take out of this is the necessity for an unapologetic vanity blogger, like myself, of having a miscellaneous category— like Whatever here on QC.
If the Whatever category comes to have the most posts — then I will begin to worry that my blog is about nothing. What’s that you say? … Whatever, with 18 posts, is the leading category? Uh oh.