I Dub Thee …
This afternoon I was shopping at the wholesale club for deodorant/antiperspirant for a female member of the household, as I had neglected to purchase some on a morning supermarket run. After analyzing the posted unit prices, I determined the best deal was on this product:
So, with the approval of that household member, who was with me, I bought a 3-pack.
This reminded me, strangely enough, of my proclivity for nicknaming colleagues at work and my sons.
I’ve tried to cut down on nicknaming since I read somewhere — I’d link it if I could find it — that nicknaming is, at its root, aggressive behavior, a form of mockery and bullying that is employed for the most part to mask feelings of insecurity (check) and inferiority (check). I mean, duh, couldn’t I have figured that out myself?
One famous guy with whom I share the nicknaming habit is the presidunce, Mr. Bush. That alone should be incentive enough for me to end the habit.
This entertaining post about Bush’s disdain for education has some choice comments about Bush’s nicknaming.
[comment #5 by Farinata X] [The element of aggression is] also at the root of all the nicknaming, a trait of this asshole’s that I particularly dislike. God, I hate this prick.
[comment #15 by beep52] And the nicknaming mentioned by Farinata X is just another way [Bush] exerts his power over others. The SOB denies people their own names! Of course, all this plays well with those who are themselves stupid and uneducated bullies.
Yikes, I’d really better cool it with the nicknaming.
So what has Lady Speed Stick to do with nicknaming?
Well, I’ve only ever had one colleague — a woman — ask to be given a nickname. That day my mind was sharp and I was able to shoot back an immediate reply: “I dub thee Lady Speed Stick.” It was a line I had used before — too many times, actually — at home when presenting the product to female members of the household over the years. (I tend to beat jokes into the ground — the dumber they are, the more I repeat them — another delightful character flaw. My family can confirm. The phrase “Dad’s stupid stuff,” is used by my sons.)
Anyway, the new Lady Speed Stick obviously was not thrilled with the nickname. I’ll bet she was sorry she asked. So I speedily decided it wouldn’t be wise to try to stick the nickname to that lady by using it repeatedly.
Here’s someone we can think of as Lady Speed Stick without regret — tennis star Maria Sharapova.