Next: An ALL NEW Post!

Well, that’s the way they do it on TV, isn’t it? TV’s hype machine has successfully morphed “new” into ALL NEW.

Sunday, on an ALL NEW Simpsons …

Next, it’s an ALL NEW Office, followed by an ALL NEW 30 Rock.

No doubt you’ve seen this usage of  “all new” ad nauseam if you watch prime time network TV with any regularity.

I think it’s stupid and annoying.

It’s as if you wouldn’t watch the touted episode if you knew it contained the least bit of footage recycled from another episode. And besides, you know it won’t, not if it’s advertised as a NEW episode — unless the episode contains flashback sequences or it’s a highlights anthology.

So inserting ALL is not only stupid and annoying on the networks’ part, it’s redundant. After all, stock (recycled) footage isn’t used to any significant degree in prime time network TV. Or is it?

I became familiar with the term stock footage as it relates to 3 Stooges shorts. Many Stooges shorts had stock footage, especially during the Shemp-as-third-stooge era of the late ’40s and early ’50s. It turns out the use of stock footage is a lot more prevalent in modern TV than I thought.  But still, I don’t think the usage rises to a level that can be called significant.

When you think about it though, “all new” can really only be applied to performance media. Imagine applying “all new” to other aspects of your life:

I bought an all new car.

Did you see the all new kid in our class?

Your all new house is beautifully decorated.

My daughter and her husband just had an all new baby.

Ridiculous.

Now when a product is “new and improved”. Well, don’t get me started. No product is ever relaunched unless its changes can be marketed as improvements. “If it ain’t broke …”, as the saying goes.

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